Just in time

Time…. what a precious commodity!

We all love to say that we are busy, busy, busy. It seems to make us feel important. The question is… are we, really? If you were to stop and analyse where your time goes, I bet you’d be surprised.

There are so many things that we do that we don’t account for in a day. Checking Facebook, for example. The vast majority of us do it. I probably spend a good 20 minutes to half an hour each night, just browsing and reading things that usually amuse me. I don’t do it at work because I’m usually quite busy there and that is the truth. Ok, Facebook can be considered entertainment. But how about the endless shitty programmes that we watch on the telly? Are they bringing anything positive to our lives? I am guilty of that too, hence one of my New Year’s resolutions was to watch less TV and read more. It seems to be working so far…

I used to think that I couldn’t be the perfect daughter, sister, girlfriend and eventually mum if I didn’t have loads of time to dedicate to each of these roles, which is why I find becoming a mum so scary. I used to think that my loved ones deserved lots of my time, be it in thoughts or in real activities. I still do. However, I now see that we all jugle our time and spend it with different people, so even if I had all the time in the world for my mum and dad, they probably wouldn’t be able to reciprocate. What we have to do is make sure that we spend quality time. This, to me, means giving someone 20 minutes of your time but with no distractions. When you speak to them (even if it’s on Skype), you look into their eyes. When you go somewhere with them, you don’t check your phone all the time. When you are listening to them, you are actually listening and not thinking that you forgot to defrost the chicken for tonight’s dinner.

Something else related to time that strikes me nowadays is how people are averse to spontaneity. Gone are the days when you’d knock one someone’s door for an unannounced visit. That seems to be rude, especially here in England. The surprise element of seeing the face of someone you like having in your life is wiped away by numerous phone calls and text messages trying to arrange a suitable time to spend a few moments together. I say a few moments because most of the time we are just “fitting people in” as well, making life feel like one giant puzzle where people are tiny pieces.

I think we have to remember that every day is a new day and offers a chance to see something you have never seen before. Every day we have a chance to surprise people, to be spontaneous, to make people smile. We don’t need to box off times to be happy, to do errands, to see loved ones, to work and to make dinner. We can potentially have it all at once. I think the secret might be in stopping to see life as this game where we have to play our cards carefully. We should just throw all cards upwards and laugh when they all come down, messy and scattered everywhere.

I guess that what I’m trying to say is that we have to stop being so organised with time, we should just let things happen, just go with the flow more than writing it all in the diary. Ok, some people, especially the ones with kids, will say that they have to be organised, but I challenge you to just let it all go for a week and see what happens. If you don’t limit yourself, then maybe you will be surprised… maybe you’ll feel freer and maybe you will find yourself naturally spending your time just with what/who really matters.

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